Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Randomize
