i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
