that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
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some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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