She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
