Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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