that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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