i think my tv is drunk
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
