He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
