So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
