Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
