I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
