A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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