I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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