oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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