Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
