If i come over, it means nothing
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
