Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
