Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
