Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
