I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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