ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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