Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
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This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
A bitchslap is in order.
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