he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
