I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
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I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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