And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
