Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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