Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
