I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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