no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
