So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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