that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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