it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
