i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I am naked and annoyed.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
