I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
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You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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