it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
