I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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