singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
