porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is that strawberry winking at me??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
