Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
