Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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