But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
