Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
my poor anus
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize