Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
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When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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