I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize