Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
