so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
