I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Enjoy the penises
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
