i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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