Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
