She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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