i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
