happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it's not cheating when I paid for it
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Two words: blizzard sex
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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