Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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