While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
