I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
