i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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