Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
