Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
