I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
