Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
