What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
