Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
