On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
