Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
