She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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