Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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