Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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