Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
