whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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