after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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